Defining Moments of a King!

Defining Moments of A King!
1 Kings 3

King Solomon was a young king over a people group that was without number. The background for this study begins in the first chapter of 1 Kings.

Solomon’s father David has had declining health and will eventually turn the kingdom over to his successor. Meanwhile David’s fourth son, Adonijah, has seized the moment and gained notoriety among David’s former colleagues and has set himself up as king. God had promised before hand that Solomon would be taking on that role and so right from the start Solomon walks right into a conflict that is left over from his father’s mistakes/sins. As David found out that Adonijah had set himself up as his father’s successor, David moved quickly then with the Prophet of God to instate Solomon as a God-ordained King. The reality of this situation is there is two coronation ceremonies going on within the same family to rule over the same people.

As Adonijah understood that he had a rival that was ordained by God and his father, he ran to the tabernacle and grabbed onto the horns of the altar in desperation begging for his life. Solomon left him live under the order that he was to show himself a worthy man. Adonijah bowed himself before his brother indicating his allegiance to him.

Eventually Solomon has Adonijah put to death because he asked a favor of Solomon regarding the woman that had been David’s servant to keep him warm as he aged. That was too much for Solomon and he ordered Adonijah killed.

For the sake of national security Solomon was ordered by David to carry out the judgment for various offenders of David’s that he hadn’t dealt with.

The Quest for Wisdom

To begin with, I would like to look at the Laws that were given by Moses for when Israel would receive a king. Deuteronomy 17:14-20
Now as we come to the text of our study 1 Kings 3, we see Solomon as an established, though young king. From the start of his reign he gets mixed up with foreign women, largely due to the various affinities he made with various kings.

It is here that he begins to go wrong. In order to see what was controlling his heart, let’s dissect this account together and see where Solomon’s heart was.

First of all, what is an affinity? According to the Strong’s Concordance, affinity is to give a daughter away in marriage, to contract affinity by marriage. So then what is an affinity? It is a relationship that is bonded through a marriage. The modern definition of this is forming a treaty through a marriage.

Solomon began his reign by creating a relationship with the king of Egypt through the marriage of Pharaoh’s daughter. What did this affinity mean for the kingdom of Israel? Egypt and Israel were both powerful nations at this point and basically this maneuver was creating an alliance between them similar to the alliance between Great Britain and the U.S.. 2 Corinthians 6:15 This type of alliance between Egypt and Israel was different though in the sense that Israel was designated a nation of God’s People, who were holy. Egypt, however was on a cultural path of destruction, through their idolatry, and ignorance of God. So as this plays out, we have a people set aside to be holy; whose king makes an alliance with a people who is unholy. Can this end anywhere but in a mess? 1 Corinthians 15:33

I see this episode, as a lack of trust on Solomon’s part. As an ally, they were bound to each other to stand in for each other in battle.

What do you have an affinity with? In Genesis 6 this gets played out in the spiritual realm as the sons of God saw the daughters of men and married them and through that alliance, giants were born. Today, if we allow the alliance between ourselves as holy children of God and the spirits of this world, the inevitable will happen and giants will be born within our soul.

The worship experience of Israel in those days was to worship in high places. The tabernacle was the original designated place of worship and at this point it was located in Gibeon. Even though the Tabernacle was in Gibeon, the ark of the Covenant (which represented God’s Presence) was in Jerusalem. For some reason God blessed Solomon’s worship in the high place at Gibeon even though it was still set up as a high place. This worship in high places was more than just building an altar such as Abraham, Samuel, and David had done; but was a complete worship center with groves, and whatever else was common in those types of settings. This was not true worship for it was forbidden by God, and was a form of idolatry.

What are our high places? Can we set up a spiritual high place, where by appearance we are worshipping God, but we are doing so in disobedience, and have set up our place of worship whether physical or spiritual as an idol before the Lord. Isaiah 29:13/Matthew 15:8 Are we following the practices of the heathen around us when we worship the Lord?

Now, after all this, Solomon goes to worship the Lord in Gibeon where the tabernacle is residing. This is the official place to meet the Lord for the Israelites. It is here in Gibeon, that God meets Solomon and offers him; no strings attached, whatever he wants.

Note that though Solomon loved the Lord, his devotion to the Lord was not his full devotion. He was distracted from giving the Lord his full devotion.

Solomon’s heart is toward the Lord at this point, and he knew that the job he had been called to do was bigger than he was. He was young, and inexperienced needing God’s wisdom for this undaunting task of leading God’s people on the right way. James 1:5

What is the difference between the wisdom of this world and the wisdom of God? The wisdom of this world is often viewed as philosophy including a wide spectrum of circumstances, and scientific theories; while the wisdom of God is having the understanding of life from God’s perspective. The only true way to understand life is through the wisdom of God, for God gives life, and He gives life meaning. If you try to understand life with a worldly wisdom, there are many areas in life when answers will fail you and life will cease to have meaning, judgments will be narrow sighted, and the future will be bleak.

Proverbs 3:7-26

John 15:16 We do have the same opportunity to ask God for whatever we will, but with one stipulation though. We need to ask in Jesus name. What does that mean? When Jesus abides in us, and the spirit of God moves through us, our request is not selfish, but for the good of the Kingdom of God. As a child of God, in whom the Spirit of God dwells, our greatest goal is to want God’s for ourselves and others what God has designed for us.

Solomon’s heart was distracted from giving God his full devotion. What about us? Are we distracted in our devotion to the Lord. Is our Faith radical? Have we given our complete trust to the Lord?

We have been given the position to lead in one way or another. Are we asking humbly God for wisdom to lead in the area we have been called?

Solomon’s request to God was also for an understanding heart. An understanding heart is one that hears, not just in passing or as one who is distracted when someone else is talking but one who really hears. Solomon wanted a heart that would really hear God when He was talking. A comparison to this spiritually would be in Ephesians 1:18.

The Gift of Wisdom

The speech pleased the Lord! What about Solomon’s speech pleased the Lord? Solomon had humbled his heart before the Lord, and a broken or humble spirit God will not turn away. God promised Solomon that he would be given wisdom and an understanding heart. 1 Corinthians 13:2 says that if a man understand all mysteries and doesn’t have love, he is nothing.

While on one hand Solomon had humbled himself and God had promised him wisdom and an understanding heart, Solomon was still living in disobedience to the Lord through his allegiance to Egypt through his marriage, and his continued worship in the various high places. The wisdom and understanding had proved to be disregarded in his personal life while at the same time he enabled others to benefit from it.

As part of Solomon’s blessing for choosing wisdom and understanding, God also blessed him with riches and honor. The Old Covenant was a physical covenant in which many times the faithful were rewarded physically as well. Many of the faithful under the Old Covenant received riches and honor as a blessing from God for their faithfulness. Under the New Covenant, however, which is spiritual, the blessing may not necessarily be physical. The faithful under the New Covenant will be rewarded with spiritual riches and when the day arrives when God calls his servants home, their reward will be so much greater than anything physical could possibly be.

After Solomon awake from his vision, and realized all that God had promised him, he went and stood before the Ark of the Covenant and offered up burnt offerings, worshiping God, and offering Peace offerings. Solomon was, as it were, standing in the throneroom of God before the mercy seat of the Almighty in humble submission.

The Results of Wisdom

I have often wondered what woman would be so hard as to say to cut a child to pieces. I mean you could see the child, yet that is what happened in this account. Solomon was able to see through her pretentious fascade and chose to use the method of threatening to do this as a means of determining who the real mother was. I can’t go on from here without saying that many of today’s mothers are doing exactly that. They are taking the place of that second woman and are having their unborn child torn apart or drugged so they die. Many real mothers and fathers are MIA (missing in action) when it comes to being there for their children.

In this case, though, the real mother’s heart yearned for her child and she couldn’t bear to see it destroyed. Isaiah 49:15.

Solomon’s wisdom that he showed in this case further solidified his place as a worthy ruler and his subjects were slow to disobey him because of his discernment. In the same way, when we trust the Lord, and do righteously, many people will respect us for it.

The contrast that came before Solomon was selfishness and compassion. This is what Solomon was choosing between.

The original plan for Israel was to be a nation of priests which would draw the world to God. Israel was located strategically between two major civilizations and would be right on the trade route. If Israel could maintain their spirituality, God would continue to bless them physically and nations would be in awe of them. Today as people of the New Covenant, God has blessed us not necessarily with physical things, but spiritual; and if we continue to live in faith the people of the world will be drawn to God through us. This will not be an automatic wave of people coming to God, but nevertheless, people will come.

Solomon used God’s wisdom well when applying it to the lives and needs of others, but when it came to applying it to his personal life, he was severely lacking. Truly applying wisdom will affect your personal life. Psalm 111:10, Proverbs 9:10

Wisdom:
Delivers us from the ways of evil men Proverbs 2:10-13
Delivers us from immorality 5:1-3
It gives us the right words to say 10:31,32; Luke 21:15

Delivers us from evil and brings us to humility 16:16-18
It builds up and brings us strength and safety 24:3-6
Disciplining brings wisdom to children and to all whom God disciplines 29:15
Prepares men for Leadership Acts 6:3
Enables us to determine God’s will Colossians 1:9
True wisdom is gentle, pure, and merciful James 3:1

‪#‎askforwisdom‬ ‪#‎wisdom‬ ‪#‎questforwisdom‬ ‪#‎giftofwisdom‬ ‪#‎resultsofwisdom‬‪#‎walkinrighteousness‬

Let Us Hold Fast!

Let us Hold Fast!

Hebrews 10:19-38

The significance of addressing the readers as brethren should indicate the care the writer of Hebrews felt for the people he was writing to. Usually, even in a secular setting, to call someone a brother indicates a particular level of feeling for that individual. Often in secret societies, gangs, and other groups/organizations there is a form of brotherhood present that even though they may have a high regard for each other as “brothers” it is a pseudo-relationship that has recognized the deep necessity of filling a void that can only be filled through a true brotherhood. The constitution of true brotherhood is based on the familial relationship which comes through having the same parents. As sons and daughters of God, we can experience that true brotherhood.

As an example of this pseudo-brotherhood I give this story. During the Civil War (or was it the Uncivil War) The future President William McKinley was visiting the Army hospitals on the field and as a Free-Mason noticed a fellow Free-Mason lying there in the hospital bed. Now this young man had been injured in the battle and though he had been fighting for the south (the opposite side), William McKinley indicated to those in charge of the hospital that they should take extra good care of the young man due to the “brotherhood” they shared in the Masonic Lodge.

If the Free-Masons can understand the concept of brotherhood, then shouldn’t we also who are born of the Holy Spirit also understand what a true brotherhood really is?

The encouragement to enter into the Holiest with boldness through Jesus blood may seem like an obscure reality, and so it would have been for the Jews as they struggled with the thought of entering into the Holy of Holies which was prepared for the presence of the Holiness of God. They understood that even the high priest couldn’t just go in; but once a year having sprinkled blood of a perfect animal over everything and through ceremoniously washing himself, prepared himself for this grand entrance into the presence of the Holiness of God. Now that the veil has been rent, torn top to bottom; there is nothing that can stop the child of God from entering into the presence of God their Father. The thickness of the veil appears to have been at least 4” thick so that along with it being torn from top to bottom indicates no ordinary feat of tearing the veil. The rending most assuredly came from the hand of God as He had prepared the way back into His favor through the death of His perfect Son.

The veil was representative of the flesh through which we are separated from the presence of God. When the body or flesh of Jesus Christ was broken or rent the symbol also was torn giving us access into the Holy of Holies.

The boldness that we may experience as a child of God is not an arrogance (which is a sin) but a humble acceptance that God wants to be your Father.

The story of Ananias and Sapphira are an example of entering into the presence of God with arrogance. The name Ananias means “Whom Jehovah has graciously given”. It seems as though Ananias was living his Christian life in a state of hypocrisy. He appears to have been one who delved into and claimed the mercy and grace of the Lord, notwithstanding that he was missing the characteristic of God that is Holy and Righteous and hates a lying tongue. Proverbs 6:17

In order to understand what is meant by the new and living way we go back to look at the old way. Romans 7:1-25 The Old Testament Law was not meant to bring death, but to bring life. As we continue on in this passage and as we have looked at in past lessons the Old Testament Law had no power to bring life to those who adhered to its principles. Sure, if it was kept perfectly, there was a blessing that fell to those who kept it; but life itself was not issued by the Old Testament Law. As Romans 7 says “when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died.” The Old Testament Law gives us insight to the Holiness of God and our woefully inadequate righteousness which is as filthy rags before the Holiness of our Lord. The New and Living way is being delivered from the effects of the Old Testament Law which condemn us to death for our unholiness to a New Testament Law that is written on our heart so we may serve the law with our spirit and not just by our deeds. This New way has the power to make you alive in Christ, since His Spirit has quickened or made us alive just as the bones were resurrected in Ezekiel 37.

When an individual draws near, he gets closer to something or someone. This is part of a plea to live godly, and as we go down through the passage we will continue to see the with clarity the necessity of being an intentional Christian. When the verse says draw near with a true heart, we could first look at what a true heart is. A true heart is one without pretense. It is without hypocrisy. A true heart can be trusted for its honesty. A true heart lives in full assurance of faith.

There is no place for the Christian to begin doubting his Salvation. This is not to say that if you do, you are not a Christian. What is being said by this is that when Jesus reaches into your heart and cleanses it from your unrighteousness, “sprinkling his own blood” upon the mercy seat of your heart; He has begun the work of redemption in your soul and to doubt that is to doubt the power of the Lord at work in your life. That is sin, and since that is sin it needs nipped in the bud and doubts need given to Jesus to gain that victory and any future victory. There is a reason why the armor of God includes the Helmet of Salvation.

As the Old Testament priests did their work in the temple sanctuary, they would be sure their first stop would be the laver. They would always wash themselves with this Holy Water before proceeding with any other type of service in the tabernacle or temple. The symbolism of this is they were to purify their bodies physically before they proceeded to sprinkle the blood on their toes, on the walls, and on the mercy seat. As a spiritual type, we too must be cleansed; first of all being drawn by the Holy Spirit and then having our hearts sprinkled with the blood of Jesus Christ.

Hold Fast! The message is getting more intense as the author here gives plea that invokes a lot of feeling. Hold fast to the profession of our faith. First of all, what is the profession of our faith? What have we professed to believe? The profession of our faith is that Jesus Christ, God incarnate, has come to pay the penalty for our sins and the sins of the whole world. Hold fast onto that belief, that truth without wavering. The word wavering has the meaning of bending or leaning back and forth similar to the setting of the sun. Hold a steady course with your belief! What does it profit if our belief wavers like a man on a tight-rope. He tries to balance himself, but the rope keeps moving around and his foot has to be placed very carefully. He may make it across the rope, but how about securing your belief in something more secure like complete trust in the sacrifice and atonement of Jesus Christ.

The word provoke has the meaning of stir up, to agitate. Is good works wrong. There is a push to say that heaven is a reward for those who have merely accepted Jesus Christ and His sacrifice for their sin, and that is indeed where it starts. These people believe that works good or bad have no bearing on whether you will actually receive the crown of life that has been promised. The reality is a Salvation experience that is not followed by Good works is dead. If we are to provoke each other to Good Works (stir up if you will) then how do we accomplish that without being impatient with the lack of growth in some of the babes in Christ? The good works we are to exhibit may include things like our kids club, going into prisons, going on the mission field, etc., but the main thing that should never be missed is the fruit of the godly which should then be what gives birth to the aforementioned works. The writer of Hebrews was concerned about the laziness in which the Hebrews were living their lives and was giving them instructions to stir each other up in Christ.

Encouragement is also a part of the Christian’s vocabulary and as we encourage each other in the Lord we will be stirred up to lived Godly.

Apostasy:

The Word of God says: “Buy the truth and sell it not”, and then in another place “You will know the truth and the truth shall set you free”.

What can be expected if we have knowledge of the truth, and have experience the truth in our hearts and then we choose to sin wilfully? It is clear that there is but one sacrifice that is accepted by God for the sins of mankind and if that sacrifice along with the blood of Jesus that was shed for the sin gets trampled underfoot in the process of their rebellion, there is nothing left for them but an end where the wrath of God is felt.

Worldly Love

Love from the world is not love at all, but is really a selfish, lustful love.  Man can not love at all except the he knows the love of God that cares enough about someone else that he would die for them even if they are his enemies.  The love the world has to offer is all about what can be done to benefit me, but true love that comes from God thinks about the good of the other person.  This works in social relationships as well as the relationship with your spouse.
Love from the world is also jealous, causing people to swell in envy and producing anger, bitterness, and then hate and then ultimately murder when is felt like the rights of the individual have been infringed upon.  Mankind will only love someone else if they feel they can get something out of the relationship unless they know and feel the love of God in their hearts.
John 3:19

Love

-What Is Love?
--Love is the epitome of who God is.  Love is the means by which fear is cast out.  Love covers a multitude of faults.  Love will put others needs before its own.  Love does not get jealous. Love is patient.  Love sorrows over sin.
     Love is a choice, not a feeling.  If love is a feeling then it is not true love, but rather some kind of selfish love that will dissipate when you feel defrauded against.  The kind of love that God  has toward us is “AGAPE”.  This is the purest form of love and is offered without first being loved or having the promise of being loved back.  This is what would cause a man or woman to die for the sake of someone else who had mistreated them so they could find God.  When Jesus Christ came to earth this is exactly what He did for us and as His disciples, he has imparted this love to us so we can pass it on.  This is not the only way that agape love is shown, but is the fullest way.

The Love Of God

7 To all that be in Rome, beloved of God, called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Romans 1:7 (KJV)

11 Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you. 

2 Cor 13:11 (KJV)

37 And because he loved thy fathers, therefore he chose their seed after them, and brought thee out in his sight with his mighty power out of Egypt; 

Deut 4:37 (KJV)

7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. 

1 John 4:7-11 (KJV)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. 24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 

Gal 5:22-25 (KJV)

16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? 

1 John 3:16-17 (KJV)

    There is no boundaries on the love of God

-Love for Lost Man

17 Behold, for peace I had great bitterness: but thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back. 

Isaiah 38:17 (KJV)

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 

John 3:16 (KJV)

8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 

Romans 5:8 (KJV)

     It is very clear that God loves us individually.  If we can not grasp this, there is no hope for us, because in this and this alone do we have hope for the hereafter.  God is Love, and for this reason, He gave man the ability to choose to fall vs. to serve Him as a robot.  God knew that if man would indeed fall, then He could then show mankind the actual depth of His love.  There really was no other way to show the extreme love that He had to give.  God has a host of angels that serve Him without choice and they will never personally know the depth of His love.  As close as they can get to it is seeing His immense love being poured out on a fallen mankind.

    The Love of God is unmatched by any other love.  He loves you as a Father, Mother, Brother, and Sister.  He cares very deeply for each one of us.

9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 10 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 11 If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? 12 Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? 13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him? 

Luke 11:9-13 (KJV)

     God wants the very best for each one of us and will not give us anything less than the best.  This being said, we may not, at the time recognize God’s gifts to us as being the best; but they mold us, and shape us to being all He wants us to be.

Remarriage After Divorce

    Marriage is for life.  When a man and a woman get married, they have covenanted or promised themselves to each other.  This includes loving each other for life.
    The response to having divorce enter into the culture and corrupt God's perfect design has brought about a change in people's views of the permanence of marriage.
    Divorce has opened the idea that if you can't love your spouse, you just drop him/her and find another one.  God says something entirely different though.

• Deuteronomy 24:1-4
• Mark 10:2-12
• Matthew 19:2-9
• Luke 16:18
• Matthew 5:31
• 1 Corinthians 7:1-16

    There is no place under the New Covenant for the remarriage unless there has been a death of a spouse.  To remarry while your spouse is still alive is to disregard God's Laws and your commitment to your spouse.  God calls it adultery.

Marriage and Divorce

Divorce is a mockery to what God has established to be a pure relationship between a husband and wife.  Rather than choosing to work out the failing relationship many would rather just separate and go their own ways.  Where is the love that drove them together in the first place?
    The hurts that many people feel through this is evidence that it never was in God’s plan for marriage.  This was just something the devil slipped in to demean what could be something beautiful.
 Malachi 2:16 God hates divorce and calls those who do it “unfaithful”.
    This has no place in a relationship that is supposed to represent “Christ and the Church”.
    Divorce does absolutely nothing for marriage but separate two who should be lovers.  Separation can not be called of God, for before sin came into the world there was no separation.  Separation is brought on by Satan who wants to destroy relationships -all relationships- and make man an island to himself so he(she) will not function in the bounds for which he (she) was created.
31  It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Matt 5:31-32 (KJV)
1 And he arose from thence, and cometh into the coasts of Judaea by the farther side of Jordan: and the people resort unto him again; and, as he was wont, he taught them again. 2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. 3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. 11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Mark 10:1-12 (KJV)
    The reason the Jews (or God’s people) were told they could divorce was because their sin had gone unchecked for so long.  Their hearts were hardened by their sin and they were blinded to what God’s principles for marriage really are.            Divorce was not ordained by God for His people but since they chose that route God put some guidelines down on it.
1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. 3 And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; 4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
Deut 24:1-4 (KJV)
    A constantly revolving marriage-like relationship will only bring more trouble to you than if you try to work things out among yourselves.
    Marriage is for life and when a married man and woman ( who are made one flesh by being married) divorce, a part of themselves gets torn apart and destroyed.
23 For an odious woman when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress.
Prov 30:23 (KJV)
    A woman feels rejected when a man divorces her.  She feels vulnerable because he is choosing not to protect her.  Most of the marriage problems are a result of the selfishness of the man who is designated by God to be the leader in making the marriage work.  The very things the man is supposed to do for his wife are left go in a divorce, making him unfaithful.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Gen 2:24 (KJV)
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
1 Peter 3:7 (KJV)
When we defraud our spouse by divorce we are disregarding the principles of God for our marriage and creating an environment that begs for God’s judgment.  Our relationship with God will be hindered for going against His plan.

Did Jesus Have Wife?

An "archaeological" fragment suggests that Jesus had a wife.  If Jesus would have had a wife, I am sure there would be more documents saying so.  Jesus did not come to the earth to marry when He was here the first time, but He came to DIE to save men and women from their sins.  When he comes back to earth the second time, He will be coming for His bride.
    We know that He has a bride also known as the Church who will be a pure, unspotted virgin; unmarred by this sin cursed earth.  Since no one can attain to this level of purity of themselves we must rely completely on the righteousness of Jesus Christ to be implanted upon our hearts through accepting His sacrifice on our behalf.   Those who are too busy, even though they are religious will be cast out, kicked out, or unfriended as they considered themselves and their agenda self important.  Don't let this be you.

Man's Responsibility In Marriage

•     Genesis 1:26-28
•     Genesis 2:7, 18-25

    God institutes marriage, and whenever it is outside this perimeter, its full potential will not be seen.  God created man first signifying his role in leadership in the marriage relationship.  When problems rise in the home, it is the man's responsibility to resolve them.  God gave him a partner- a woman.  God never intended that two men or two women live together in this same manner, as it would only breed trouble.

    Marriage is to be a picture of the relationship between Christ (the husband) and the Church (the wife).  If we as partners in this relationship of marriage would keep it in this outline as given to us by God, the problems we face in our marriage would be non-existent.

    The name husband has to do with economics, being thrifty, and farming.  He is to be the bread winner for the family and doing everything in his power to make sure things are taken care of financially and around the house.  He too must care for the physical, emotional, as well as spiritual needs of his wife and family or he will be counted as an unbeliever. ( 1 Timothy 5:8)

• To love unconditionally
• To lead as a service
• To nourish
• To protect as a service physically, spiritually, and emotionally

    Man's first responsibility to his wife is to love her unconditionally.  We are all human and humans make mistakes but that is nor reason for the husbands not to fulfill his foremost responsibility.
    If he just lets his family go to the “dogs”, he has shirked his responsibility and must repent before God and his family.
    The responsibility of the welfare of the family falls solely on the husband/father, however, the wife/mother helps carry out his vision for the family.
    He must have a vision for his God-given responsibility.  Without a vision the family will die.  18 Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.
Prov 29:18 (KJV)
    Life does not just happen, but must be arranged by the man under the direction of God for a purpose.
    The love of the husband for his wife must be clear to her.  A woman who is unloved yet married is a difficult thing.  It seemingly falls into the same category as a servant who reigns over the king.  Not a nice picture at all.
23 For an odious woman when she is married;
Prov 30:23 (KJV)
    This is not meant to be an insult to unmarried women or women that are caught in a relationship that does not show love, but rather is meant to encourage the man to fill his responsibility seriously.
    Christ loved the church so much He was willing to die so it could live.  Marriage is analoge of the relationship between Christ and the Church, therefore, what Christ has done for the Church is what husbands and fathers need to do for their families.
    We may never physically lay our lives down for the sake of our families, but that shouldn’t be ruled out as a possibility.  The idea behind this is sacrificing the things we enjoy for the sake  of leading the family on fin truth.
   God has instilled in all men the need to be a leader and a desire for women to be led.
 16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Gen 3:16 (KJV)
This is not to say that the husband should get an over-rated opinion of himself and say that she had better follow him, but rather he should lead in a manner that is worthy of being followed.
    The love that a man has for his wife will cause him to submit to her in that he sacrifices himself for her betterment.  In submission, he is not making her his lord, but rather is offering himself as a servant as a result of his love.
    Christ came to be our servant while on earth and while not making us His lord sacrificed Himself for the reconciliation of our souls.  If we are not submitted in humility to our wife’s needs the hope of having a relationship with her like the relationship between Christ and the Church is extinguished.  We must give her our all to redeem the relationship.
1 Corinthians 11
    Through the sacrifice of the husband, he is offering love, protection, and nourishment which will only be seen through her submission to him.
    The husband must see to it that his wife’s needs are met.  God has given him the responsibility of nourishing her physically, spiritually, and emotionally.  In a time when the family unit often chooses to go their separate ways it is unmistakable that many wives needs are going unnourished.  When this happens she then has a void that she fills with something else.
    Nourishing your wife means feeding her in all three of the areas mentioned before.
    Protection of your wife is also a responsibility of the husband.  Christ offered Himself as a protection for His bride and as physical marriage is a symbol of that, then man is to offer himself as a protection for his wife.  Only when we get a grip on this concept will our wife feel secure in our love and Christ.

That your prayers are
not hindered

1 Peter 3:7
    Love your wife in an understanding way, be thoughtful of her and treat her as royalty.  God has created her for the finer things in life.  Even though she is physically weaker than most men, she is strong in her own way.  Whenever we go against this plan that God has set up, our prayers will be hindered and God will not hear us.  We will have built a wall between us and God.
    Take care of her heart and look for ways to help her.  Pray for her.